it's
Face-Palm Friday!

Nebraska vs. Ohio 9/5 11 am Ohio NE and OH unranked 9/12 6 pm Bowling Green BG unranked this week 9/19 6:15 pm North Dakota ND unranked this week 9/26 TBA Michigan State MI unranked this week 10/3 TBA Maryland MD unranked this week 10/10 TBA Indiana IN 6th this week 10/17 TBA Oregon OR 2nd this week 10/31 TBA Washington WA 17th this week 11/6 7 pm FRI Illinois IL unranked this week 11/14 TBA Rutgers Rutgers unranked this week 11/21 TBA Ohio State OH 1st this week 11/27 11 am FRI Iowa IA 22nd this week

AMAZING FACT: If all of the underground water in Nebraska could be magically brought to the surface, the entire state would be covered in water 40 feet deep. ONE-LINERS: My son's teacher thinks my son has a low IQ based on his homework. Boy, is she wrong! I did his homework. I got upset when I couldn't find any scissors to cut a coupon out of the newspaper. I was reduced to tears. My boss said to me, "You're the worst train driver ever. How many times have you derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track." My kid told me that I was out of touch. It made me want to thrash the young scalawag with a buggy whip. I thought culinary school was going to be difficult, but the final exam was a piece of cake.