it's
Face-Palm Friday!
Halloween edition

Nebraska vs. Washington 9/5 11 am Ohio NE and OH unranked W: 49-21 9/12 6 pm Bowling Green NE and BG unranked W: 56-7 9/19 6:15 pm North Dakota NE and ND unranked W: 34-7 9/26 4 pm Michigan State NE and MI unranked W: 31-13 10/3 3 pm Maryland NE and MD unranked W: 48-23 10/10 11 am Indiana NE unranked, IN 7th L: 17-20 10/17 10 pm Oregon NE and OR unranked L: 14-17 10/31 7 pm Washington NE and WA (4-3) unranked 11/6 7 pm FRI Illinois IL (4-3) unranked this week 11/14 TBA Rutgers Rt (2-4) unranked this week 11/21 TBA Ohio State OH (6-1) 2nd (3rd last week) 11/27 11 am FRI Iowa IA (5-2) unranked (15th last week)

AMAZING FACT: Giraffes have the same number of bones in their necks as we do -- seven. ONE-LINERS: They call those little Halloween candy bars "Fun Size" because "Disappointing Size" doesn't fit on the wrapper. I went to a costume patry dressed as a car key, but they threw me out because it looked like I might start something. Boy, this economy is really hurting local businesses. A paper supplier has folded, a blender store went into liquidation, and even the submarine company has gone under. I've always wanted to be a billionaire, like my grandfather. My grandfather always wanted to be a billionaire too. I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. Just because I took a day off.