it's
Face-Palm Friday!

Nebraska vs. Indiana 9/5 11 am Ohio NE and OH unranked W: 49-21 9/12 6 pm Bowling Green NE and BG unranked W: 56-7 9/19 6:15 pm North Dakota NE and ND unranked W: 34-7 9/26 4 pm Michigan State NE and MI unranked W: 31-13 10/3 3 pm Maryland NE and MD unranked W: 48-23 10/10 11 am Indiana NE unranked, IN (5-0) 7th 10/17 TBA Oregon OR (3-1) 13th (15th last week) 10/31 TBA Washington WA (3-2) unranked this week 11/6 7 pm FRI Illinois IL (2-3) unranked this week 11/14 TBA Rutgers Rt (1-4) unranked this week 11/21 TBA Ohio State OH (4-1) 5th (5th last week) 11/27 11 am FRI Iowa IA (4-1) 20th (14th last week)

AMAZING FACT: The doorknob was invented less than 150 years ago. Before that doors had handles, strings, or slide bars. ONE-LINERS: eBay is so useless. I tried to look up cigarette lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches. I used to be a narcissist -- now look at me. Police have confirmed that the employee who fell from the night club on the 25th floor was not a bouncer. A mobius strip walks into a bar and sits down, tears streaming down his face. The bartender asks, "What's wrong, buddy?" The mobius strip says, "Where do I even begin?!" I had a roommate who was a dyslexic agnostic insomniac. He would stay up all night wondering if there really is a dog.